I don’t go out much.

Lillian has lived in Yorkville, a neighborhood on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, most of her life. “My father lived up the block,” she says. “I was born there.”

She’s been in this apartment for over 50 years. She raised her children here. She taught her son and daughter how to ride a bicycle down on that street below.  “I had the patience to push them,” she says. “I’d run with them.”

These days, Lillian doesn’t do much running. She spends most of her time inside. “I don’t go out much,” she says. “I would like to be out more, but it’s a lot of pain.” 

A few years ago, Lillian started experiencing hip pain. It got so bad, even sitting became unbearable. She’s considering a hip replacement, but at 81 years old, the surgery itself — and the healing process — would be a massive undertaking. She’s not sure if it’s worth it. 

In her apartment, Lillian relies on a rolling walker to get from room to room. It’s leaving that’s the problem. Her building doesn’t have an elevator. When asked how she gets down the stairs, Lillian says: “With difficulty!” It takes her at least twenty minutes to go down the two flights of stairs she needs to make it to the ground floor — and that’s with the help of her home health aide, who carries her walker. “Going up is more difficult.” 

It makes grocery shopping on her own impossible. The home-delivered meals she gets allows her to continue to live independently. “We had a meal delivered today,” she says. “They’re good.” Lillian also appreciates how balanced they are, nutritionally. “I’m learning a lot about food and what kind of food to eat — and not to eat.”

While she’s considering moving in with her daughter on Long Island, Lillian would be sad to leave the block, which is full of so many memories. Some of her fondest are taking her children to go sledding in Central Park when it snowed. Snow days were always the best, especially when schools closed. “All the kids from the neighborhood used to come here,” says Lillian, “and if they were hungry, I’d cook for them.” 

Lillian was a great cook. One of her best dishes was her sweet and sour meatballs, but she made sure to whip up the kids’ favorites too. “I would make a tremendous amount of sloppy joes,” she says. 

“They would go out and play in the snow and, when they’d come back, I’d say, ‘Put all your mittens and your scarves on the radiator.’ And they’d put everything on the radiator and go in the kitchen and eat whatever I had for them.”

Once their winter things were dry, they’d head back into the snow until the streetlights came on. “I was mothering all those kids in the neighborhood,” says Lillian.

But all those kids are now grown. “Everyone moved away,” she says. And Lillian doesn’t cook much these days. “I can’t stand up and cook anymore.”  Still, Lillian couldn’t imagine growing old anywhere else. “It’s a great city,” she says. But, more importantly, it’s home.